Do INTJs Ever Long for a Companion?

They were the lone wolves. The INTJs. Fiercely independent, brutally self-reliant. Needing no one.

But beneath that hardened exterior, did a hidden longing lurk? A secret yearning for companionship? For someone to walk beside them through life’s ups and downs?

“Do you ever sometimes long for a companion or a partner,” the mysterious poster asked the band of INTJs on Reddit, “despite the fact that INTJs are mostly independent and self-reliant?”

The question hung provocatively in the air. Inviting the reclusive masterminds to probe their souls. To confront their deepest, most closely-guarded desires.

Would they dare admit their hidden need? Or would they cling to their solitary ways, no matter the cost? The game was on. The truth would soon be revealed…

Realistic portrait of a pensive INTJ woman with short dark hair, wearing a black turtleneck

Read: INTJ Depression

The confessions poured forth from the shadowy realm of Reddit. Raw, unfiltered, yearning.

“Yes ofc, loneliness is a bitch,” one soul laid bare. “Don’t we all? Feels like an inate feeling of being human,” proclaimed another, daring to voice the unspeakable truth.

The reasons for their hunger ran deep. Primal. “I want to discover little details about someone else. I want a complex emotional connection,” an aching heart revealed. “Everything is easier with a partner.”

But it went beyond mere convenience. This was about survival. About finding that one person to cling to as the winds of fate howled.

“Sometimes. Then I remember how difficult I can be,” a tortured soul confessed. Yet still, the longing persisted, unvanquished. “Of course. Love is the only thing stronger than hate. The only thing that makes living on this hell-rock less miserable/worth it.”

They craved understanding. Affection. A comrade-in-arms to battle the world alongside them. “A good cuddle at the end of a tiring day is all I want.”

The need for connection screamed out from the void, refusing to be silenced, demanding to be heard. Even by those who feared to face it…

Read: INTJ & Dating

For others, the hunger for connection flickered like a fickle flame, surging and retreating. “Comes and goes to be honest,” one enigmatic soul confessed, “for the most part not really but now and then can definitely long for something.”

Solitude, that faithful mistress, held them tightly in her embrace. “I enjoy my independence too much,” a defiant voice declared. “A relationship is not something I need or want at this point in my life.”

The specter of past heartbreaks haunted them, a chill wind extinguishing any sparks of longing. The scars ran deep. “My ex-husband was a disappointment. Every man I’ve been with since was a disappointment. People in general are a disappointment.”

And the thought of surrendering their fiercely guarded freedom? Unthinkable. “I want it and then i actually think about what serious relationship means and am like nope.”

Other pursuits consumed them, grand ambitions that brooked no distractions. “It was never my main priority. I’ve always put achievement first like a stereotypical INTJ.”

Yet still, in the lonely watches of the night, a traitorous whisper… “Often, yes”…

Melancholic side profile of an INTJ man with glasses and a beard

Read: Can INTJs be Romantic? 

The quest for love, never easy, held special perils for the INTJs. Standards high as the stars, they sought partners with precision and selectivity that bordered on the obsessive. “I do really feel the need for a mind understanding connection though, so that’s the biggest click, explains why I’m so picky,” one INTJ confessed.

Trust, that rarest of treasures, had to be earned through trials of fire. The INTJs guarded their hearts jealously, an impenetrable fortress. Prying open those iron gates took time, patience, perseverance. “It took me barely any time to bare my soul to him,” an INFP in love with an INTJ revealed, “while he took a longer time to open up to me and begin sharing deeper stuff.”

Mere mortals found them an enigma, a puzzle with no solution. “Sometimes. Then I remember how difficult I can be,” a self-aware INTJ admitted. Pleasing them was a Herculean task, the labor of gods.

And always, always, that thirst for freedom threatened to undermine intimacy, to keep others at arm’s length. “Even when I have one – I still feel self-reliant and lonely and difficult to lean into them or attach.”

The struggle was real, the obstacles towering. But still they persisted in their quest, driven by a need even their daunting intellects could not fully comprehend…

Read: INTJ’s Broken Heart

The INTJs knew, deep in their bones, the key to unlocking love’s elusive door. “Finding someone to handle us is the real deal,” a wise soul declared. Someone who could peer behind the mask, who could embrace the depths hidden beneath the surface.

“I only long for the right companion,” another proclaimed. “Someone with similar goals and an equal reverence for what living means.” A meeting of minds, electric and invigorating. “If the lovely lady cannot connect with me through conversation, for a lack of a better phrase, I can’t even get it up,” a male INTJ boldly confessed.

Space, blessed space, to breathe and just be. “He is very independent and needs his me time now and then, and I respect his need for that,” an INFP in love with an INTJ shared. A dance of intimacy and solitude, perfectly balanced.

“I want a true partnership, never settling. I want a teammate,” a determined voice rang out. Two pillars, standing tall, side by side. Equals in every way. Not a merging into one, but a walking alongside, stride matching stride.

The secret ingredient, the magic elixir. Find this, and bliss could be theirs. The search continued, unabated…

two intjs walking with an umbrella at night

Read: 7 Hilarious Truths About Dating an INTJ Girlfriend

In the end, the truth could not be denied. Most INTJs, beneath their fortress of solitude, yearned for that special connection. “Nobody want to be alone even they are very independent,” a wise soul observed. “We are human is social creatures. And need somebody in our lifes.”

But not just any warm body would do. “You can also have an independent and self-reliant partner and get along for that reason lol. Sure its kind of rare, but its not impossible.” The perfect fit, the elusive key to unlock their heavily guarded hearts.

Though the road ahead lay shrouded in mist, fraught with perils, the INTJs refused to abandon hope. “Hoping all you INTJs who want a companion find your lovely partners eventually! Never give up!” a encouraging voice urged.

With diligence and unwavering resolve, the dream could yet manifest. “It took an enormous amount of work to become the type of person who a high quality person would date,” a tenacious INTJ shared. The formula for success, there for the taking.

“I have someone and it really great,” a victorious cry rang out – living proof of what was possible. Let the naysayers doubt, the cynics scoff. The INTJs would not be deterred. Armed with patience and grit, they would find their way to love’s promised land. And oh, how sweet the rewards would be…

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